Departure

Well it's happening. I knew it would come sooner or later. But now that it's here it's too soon. I'm literally choking up with emotion as I write these words. I mean he could have waited until he was actually a teenager. But I know it's a road he must travel. I'm talking about the fact that my 12 year old son is starting to disengage. It's a departure of sorts from what used to be. He's starting to become a recluse. He's metamorphosing right before my very eyes.

This weekend his grandmother came to visit. It's been about six months since we last saw her and he was genuinely disinterested within the time span of one hour.

"May I be excused?" he inquired. Those were his parting words after approximately 8 minutes at the dinner table.

"Uhmm, where are you going?" I asked.

"Up to my room to watch TV." he said matter of factly.

"But grandma just got here." I said pleadingly.

"I know" he said.

"I guess...but don't you want some dessert?" I asked hoping that would change his mind.

"Nah, I'm good." he said, as he walked upstairs.

Sigh, how did this happen so quickly? I thought he was going to be more socially sensitive. I guess there are forces at work here bigger than his mom and I.

In vain I try to console myself thinking "please don't go too far for too long" I'm not ready for your departure.

Our Misbehaving Dog

It's the bane of every families existence. The moment you bring a new dog home your house is literally a 'marked' target. Such was the case when we brought home our Golden Retriever/Lab mix from the Humane Society. My kids were so excited to have a new dog but what we didn't realize was that this dog had history. Of course moving into a new home didn't make things any easier for her. "Josie" was urinating and defecating in nearly every room of the house. This had to stop and it had to stop soon. But we weren't sure how best to train her how to do this. I started looking on the internet and there are literally hundreds of web sites and books on the subject of training your dog and how to do it without punishing them for something that comes naturally to them. Not only did it help us to retrain "Josie" with her potty problem but we've also had success with several other cool dog tricks. So, if you are as lucky as we were to bring a new puppy home and you need a recommendation for a great e-book I highly recommend 'Sit, Stay, Fetch: dog Obedience Training.' by the folks at Kingdom of Pets. Sit, Josie, Sit. Good Dog.

They Need To Know That Life Is NOT Fair

Yesterday I went to a friends house after church to help unload a trailer full of items they had recently acquired. As it turned out I took my daughter with me so that my wife could have a little time to herself with no distractions. Our boys were playing at our next door neighbors.

When we arrived at my friends house the lady who we were helping gave my daughter a "Magic Hair Bead Set" which of course made her feel very special and she was very thankful. Once we had finished moving all of the items from the trailer into the house we headed home. The bead set was all she could talk about all the way home. Once we arrived at home my youngest son, Luke (6), saw the bead set that Meg had and asked, "What do you have Meg?" Meg showed Luke the bead set. She told him it was a gift--which was true. Luke immediately responded crying and complaining, "That's not fair! I didn't get anything."

FREEZE!

At this point what would you tell your child? I wanted him to know that his complaint was an accurate assessment of the facts. Life is not fair. But, is that what you would have done? Think of the repercussions of making life "fair" for your kids. How long will you have that kind of control in their lives? Even if you could control "fairness" in their life what value is it to them?

UNFREEZE

I told Luke that the gift that Meg received was just that--"a gift." A gift that was freely given. I told him that my friend may give him a gift or she may not. But what was important to me that I wanted Luke to understand is that "life isn't fair" and that's probably among the top ten most most important lessons I will ever teach him.

What do you think? How would you have handled this situation? Leave me your comments.

ATF: Battle Cry! My Son Is Growing Up

Well, here's more proof my son is growing up. He's going to his first Christian concert/conference by himself. Oh sure he'll have friends there but mom and dad will not be there. We're just dropping him off. It's a two day event and he should have a blast.

Check out the website for ATF: Battle Cry

Today is also All Pro Dad's Day so I'm taking the younger ones out to eat at IHOP. Once a month--every month. I love All Pro Dad's Day because it gives us a chance to spend some time together.

Getting Him To Do His Chores

It's an almost daily event in our home. I have to ask my 11 year old to do the same chores on a regular basis. Make his bed. Feed the dog. Pick up the poop. Load the dishwasher. Set the table. Why? Why do I have to remind him on a daily basis? I asked him to make a list and put it on his bedroom door so he won't forget. He still forgets. Or, perhaps it worse...perhaps he's choosing not to do it. It's one thing to forget and quite another to choose not to do it.

So, in order to "motivate" him to perform I've informed him of the priviliges he will lose one at a time until he decides to start doing his chores--regularly, consistently. It's time to step it up a notch. I've been too lenient with him in this area. My little boy is growing up and my expectations of him need to change.

What challenges do you have getting your kids to do chores? What works for you? What doesn't? Share your ideas so we can all learn.